So Long Ha Long

It's about a 3 hour drive from Hanoi to Ha Long--not a very interesting drive except for the murderous traffic circles on the highway, the occasional accident site, and row after row of pineapple stalls.

We take a break at a highly tacky tourist trap selling all kinds of junk you wouldn't buy, like wine made from scorpions, snakes, or Geckos, like this one:

These giant geckos (Gecko gecko) are famous for scaring the hell out of campers with their loud "Gecko!" calls, but are becoming scarce because they become products like this.

The area is decorated with the most beautiful mountains. Unfortunately they are being totally quarried away for their marble to make brummagem. But who could bare to pass these up?

Fortunately, the beautiful Karst formations in Ha Long Bay are protected by Unesco and will be here until they crumble away. It is like being inside a beautiful watercolor painting on rice paper.

The Islets often keep a shear 90 degree cliff face as fresh limestone sheets peel off, while they are hollowed out from the inside. there are many caves here, though not many are accessible.

Here is our hotel for the night, the Emmeraude. It's a replica of one of the first French tourist steamboats in Ha Long bay in colonial times. There is a vast fleet of tourist ships, but except for the Emmeraude they are all wooden junks--they look very appealing, but I'd imagine they wobble and creak a bit more.

We are often followed by remora-like traders selling all kinds of crazy crap--mostly carved and uncarved shells, but also cookies, soda, junk food, beer, and anything else you can imagine. At hugely inflated prices, of course.

Our cabin is small but super quiet, thankfully blocking out the noise from our rowdy Vietnamese poker fiend neighbors. Unfortunately it is about as cold inside as it is outside--about 55 degrees, but cold for us Saigonese.

Elsewhere, people live their whole lives on floating villages in the bay. Unfortunately, visiting them is not on our itinerary.

The largest tourist stop, with hundreds of boats bumping and grinding together, is Surprise Cave, where the French have trained their little poodles and practiced their miming for ages.

The guides are pretty useless. They point out indistinct animal shapes in the muck. Otherwise, the cave is massive and a fun place to run around.

This one is supposed to be a turtle, and apparently a rich one. But don't bother wetting your beak, these are worthless 1,000 dong notes.

It's too cold to kayak, so we're ferried to a little pearl farm. Farming pearls is a complicated process which is filtered through a guide with only a smattering of English. So "mantle" becomes "mental," and somehow "gonads" becomes "coconut." They sell pearls here, but this is no place for bargains.

There's not much to do on the boat. However, Jenny picks up a new culinary skill--making a beautiful rose out of a tomato and mint leaves.

Dinner is fairly good, but the spring rolls are out of this world.

The next day we head for home. One major flaw with this trip is this: it isn't our first. Sadly, Ha Long Bay is a once in a lifetime opportunity and no more. People come so they can look around and realize they are not in Kansas, or New York, or London, and are as far away from home as it gets--not quite the same effect for Saigonese. There is snorkeling in the warmer season, though the waters are very murky and you won't see the absolutely amazing fish beneath you. But, thanks to Jenny's work benefits, it's all free for us.