That's all he wrote

Home Again

A few days before I came home, a friend asked me what I will miss both about Saigon. I didn't have an answer. At all. So, like my entry on 10 things that get old in Saigon, I left the impression that I hate it. Which isn't really true--hating a place is not the same as being burnt out. So here's some reasons why you should come to live in Vietnam:


It's cheap. Even after the "foreigner tax," many people pay as little as $400 for rent and $1 for a damn good local meal. Things like clothing are very inflated for foreigners, but still relatively cheap. You don't really want to buy high end things like electronics, because they are more expensive than at home and you may buy a crappy knock-off.

There are tons of jobs. Sadly for me, the easiest job to find by far is teaching English. Some people like it, and it is pretty easy. People make from $15 to $20 an hour, so even on the low end they are able to save a lot of money. Or they can work very few hours and relax.

You will lose weight. Maybe Vietnamese food is very healthy--it's mostly low fat and low sodium, and fresh fish is more available than in the US. It's also very excellent. There is an awful lot of really gross stuff like dog meat, organs, turtle soup, but they are easy to avoid (unless you go with a Vietnamese crowd--they always order such things) but there if you want a little gastronomic adventure. Unfortunately, there isn't as much variety as in the US and restaurants from other countries aren't as good (with the exception of thai food), so like me, you may stop eating so much--even desserts, which are pretty but not very tasty. I didn't need to lose weight to start with, and now weigh only 110.5 pounds.

It is a great place to see an entirely different culture and make tons of social taboos in relative safety. The chances of being punched out or tackled are nil--if you do something wrong, people will generally smile or laugh. There aren't many muggings either--you should worry more about pickpockets and bag slashers.

It is a good hub for many vacation sites. Which is a mixed blessing, because it does cost some money to get out of the city but will be totally worth it.

Anyway, now that I'm home, I'm alternating between feeling like I'm in a totally foreign place and feeling like I never left. My first impressions: the diversity of people is a very new and wonderful thing (even white people are a startlingly new sight). I went into a bank and was helped by someone completely competent. There is so much junk food I had no idea where to start (a box of Entenmann's soft chocolate chip cookies). I'm often afraid of crossing the street. The air, even in Brooklyn, smells clean and sweet. People are always in the way, are a chore to walk around (something I noticed since Hong Kong).

Speaking of Hong Kong, don't fly United. The seats do not have their own screens, so you will be horribly bored for your unbelievably long flight. The food is totally inedible and of small portions (being inedible makes any portion small). I had to transfer at Chicago O'Hare, which is an awful airport. People were extremely rude and unhelpful. I had to pick up my checked luggage, which took forever, and recheck it and barely made my connection to NY. My bags were put on two other flights. I waited 20 minutes for the first, the second came so late I had to have it delivered.

3rd Time in Hoi An

It must be the low season. The Hoi An specialty souvenirs weren't there this time around.

But who cares? We were staying at the Fusion Maia resort, closer to Da Nang, for some serious relaxation.

Resorts are state-of-the-art, with beautiful pristine pools and beach views, but all that is ruined because you have to share.

Problem solved--our own private pool!

Nice views of the beach. I couldn't tell you about the water because we were too busy swimming in our own salt and crab free pool.

Nothing like a huge moth after a massage.

After the Nam Hai, it's hard to be impressed by a buffet breakfast. It's still pretty good, especially with items you can order from a menu.

Like waffles with chocolate and cinnamon.

A few days before, Jenny did all the fun stuff with her company--eco-tours, bike riding, fishing, lots of BBQ's on the beach and luxury dinners. All I got was a bike to rent. It's a lovely countryside to cruise through, but extremely hot with no hope of shade anywhere. We're thinking maybe we're done with Hoi An now.

Adventures in a Corridor

Trains should be the ultimate way to travel: inexpensive, eco-friendly, comfortable, with endless views of the countryside. So why aren't they?

A first-class cabin--it doesn't get any better. This was my prison for 15.5 hours. It has a loud air conditioner blasting freezing canned air mixed with cigarette smoke, durian, and whatever else is buzzing around your neighbor's cabin. It's ancient and never-been washed. The window is coated in filth, and anyway it's too small to comfortably look through. The beds aren't too bad, though the train itself constantly hurls bodies to and fro. And the cost was just barely cheaper than a plane ticket.

The views of rice paddies and shrimp farms were often strikingly beautiful, but hard to appreciate from across the hall.

All in all, a good test for claustrophobics and germiphobes.

Filthy as it was, this was my favorite part of the train. An open window does wonders. I wanted to stick out my head, tongue waggling like a dog's, the whole trip. Going home, the flight from Da Nang to Saigon was worth every dong.

From English to Vietnamese and back again

Totally wrong subtitles, but A+++ for effort!

I just had to watch the whole movie again with fudged English subtitles, totally worth it. There is no Netflix in Vietnam or any legitimate way to get DVDs. You can buy rip-offs for fifty-cents, usually watchable at least once, or steal off the internet.