Monday, December 13, 2010

Trussed for Success

When living in a totally foreign culture it is best to keep an open mind. And then there are some things that make you want to say "wake up people, this is stupid. Do it this way."
For instance, they like to carve huge smiley faces in their fish for no discernable purpose except that it sells more fish. Often in the US we just cut off fillets, which is very wasteful and makes us cowardly meat-eaters. But when it's done right fish are left with their heads and tasty jaw muscles intact and gutted. Vietnamese leave all the guts in--why? It's not like they eat them, probably because they taste like you'd expect fish guts to taste--absolutely jaw-rottingly horrifying. So the first side of the fish is tasty but the other half has been stewing in gut-sauce and isn't worth leaving for the dogs. I'd like to think the guts are left in for sheer laziness but it is pretty time-consuming to extract the face, which as I mentioned is rather pointless. Maybe they do it for sanitary reasons, not wanting to lick the inside of an animal's mouth?
Nah, probably not. This chicken will be hacked up and every little bit will go on the platter, mouth, eyes, wattles and all. Very creative presentation, no? Better than a Sicilian necktie. Makes me wonder how they kill the chicken--obviously not the traditional and quick guillotine method. But all chickens in Vietnam, even in the city, are free-range, organic, lean and delicious, and as someone dear to me once said, "just have one bad day."

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Worst name for a fruit.

It tastes sweet, very decent custardy texture, but it has the worst name in history--translated from Vietnamese it's called Breast-milk Fruit. That ruins everything. Its juice is decidedly milk-colored and even flavored, it's flesh is very tissuey, and it's very size and shape makes you think you are actually eating--well, like I said, the name ruins everything.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

We've got one...

...skyscraper. Can we call ourselves a city now?

The Bintexco Financial Tower, at 68 stories is the tallest building in the whole country. It's supposedly shaped like a lotus petal, which is a good excuse as any to put a helipad in a helicopter-less city. It opened on October 31 with a neat light show. Then I forgot about it until now.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Da Lat

We've been planning it for a while, then postponed it, then almost postponed it again, and now that it came upon us a trip to Da Lat didn't seem like such a good idea. I'd just gotten over a cold. Jenny's mother gets violently car-sick. And why was I taking cousin, aka Dennis the Menace again? So it was with a disbelieving haze that I found myself on a bus with Jenny, her parents and a kid that pushes the chaos theory (if he can do something wrong, he will) for 7 hours until Da Lat. But I wasn't teaching English!

Our first night in Da Lat. It is an extremely intriguing place--founded and designed by the French from a totally uninhabited highland sanctuary, it was intended as a multi-resort town built around a world-class golf course and a lake that was recently drained to build bridges. The population is exploding here, though it's mostly exploding with teenagers--the sort who will ogle your female partner, mimic overheard English phrases, and otherwise could use a backhand to the face. This is a theme that sadly makes Da Lat intolerable. But it's not all bad...

I was here for the birds, so I called a tour company asking for local bird guides. Turns out they had a tour in progress that I could sit in on. The guide, in typical Vietnamese fashion, let me join them for free and became my instant friend.


He was leading an excitable and friendly Japanese group with highly expensive gear out on a photography spree.

Few people know or care, but there are many endemic birds in Vietnam, and a few that only exist in Da Lat. This is one, the Vietnamese Greenfinch. The perfect bird--Extremely local but abundant, beautiful and practically tame.

We did see many birds, some of them fabulous, but alas we were cut short by heavy rains.

Pushing on, we were able to gleam a few more species. Another note about the weather: It is chilly. Still, I'd been thinking of New York in fall with just a touch of nostalgia, so the temperature was welcome.

My two favorite things, my honey and birdwatching together at last, but not mixing. Here we are, birding on a steep mountain road between speeding motorcycles, trucks and buses--a frequent occupational hazard for bird watchers.

We missed some crucial birds, and it was hard not to tag along with the tour for another day. But I needed to spend some time with Jenny. There are loads of tours in Da Lat and it's all crap. The absolute best way is to rent a motorcycle for about $5 a day and see the sights at your leisure.

The next problem with sightseeing in Da Lat is that everything is over-the-top campy. Here we're on our way to a waterfall which you could either walk to or take a rollercoaster down. And the rollercoasters have manual brakes, which is not very encouraging.

We finally get there and are stuck by more pouring rain.

At a pagoda by the lake. It's nice as pagodas go but inundated with tourists--makes it look really fake.

The hotel has a nice breakfast, specializing in pastries. After a seven hour bus ride through a uniform suburban sprawl, Da Lat is very original. It has French architecture, those horribly planned French streets, and has a feel that's European on the outside but Vietnamese-filled on the inside. It's equally lovable and hateful, though for me it's the birds and natural habitat that are its greatest virtue. We missed a lot of tourist stops, but I'll be happy to come back and see nothing but Grey Crowned Crocias and Vietnamese Cutias.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Nam Cat Tien

Cat Tien National Park: there's no place I'd rather be. And it was impossible for me to get there--have to get a bus ticket to Da Nang, get dropped off in the middle of nowhere, and then get a xe om the rest of the way. But Jenny's new friends were going and JOY! they invited us along.


It was an ordeal from the very beginning. We did it local style, which may be quaint and ethnic and all, but let's face it--it's bad. I insisted on taking a cab to the local bus station. Instead we hefted our luggage onto our motorbike, and threaded impossible crowds, often nearly creamed by buses, only to find most of the parking lots full.

Finally, here we are waiting for the bus--my camera somehow cropped out the insanity. The first bus was full, even though we had tickets. The second one wasn't much better. I had 1/4 of a butt cheek to sit on and clung with every tooth and toenail for the 4 hour drive, stuck into one of 2 bus-hand's armpit. The bus has a limited number of ticketed seats, but they crammed people into every crevice. It was awful, and definitely illegal. Every time we passed a highway patrol the bus monkeys closed the window and crouched into a pretend seat. When we passed, up goes the window and the bus monkeys call out for yet more passengers. I was really pissed--good thing I didn't speak Vietnamese. I wanted to rat them out to the nearest cop.

But the ride didn't last quite forever. Eventually we were dumped onto the riverbank and got a ferry to the park. Here's the dorm where we stayed. If they put half the care in the dorms as they do with the topiaries, we should be in good shape.

They didn't. We slept on wooden slats and had to go outside to a latrine.

This was really sad. No toilet seats, never been cleaned since the Carter administration, never even had the single-serve shampoo packets cleaned out. The arthropods took over.

Here's a detail of the bathroom stall. A nice katydid. The invertebrate life here is really spectacular.

And also kinda gross. We shared the latrine with many hand-sized wolf spiders. The one in the insert is carefully guarding an egg case, but in vain. The next day all that was left was a hollow assemblage of legs. Must have been a bigger spider.

But the top of the human food chain is the mosquito. This sign probably warns of Dengue Fever. Too bad we brought the useless but dainty-smelling skin-so-soft.

I even had bad luck with the guides. The place was fully booked, and my first day I tagged along with a guide and two surly, SLOW old people. The next day I missed the tour altogether, and the guides were too lazy to work in the afternoon or the next day.

Worth it? Definitely. I see less birds by myself, but I get to do the work and get all the credit. Otherwise I'm too focused on my notebook and don't get to see much but a retreating bunch of feathers. Here's a Great Hornbill, justifying all the hardship in one quick swoop.

And then I ate it (kidding). This was the best chicken I ever had, even after losing points for presentation.

The adorable Vernal Hanging Parrot. Would love to take one home, but they have so much fun in the wild.

Altogether I saw 51 birds--not much, but what I saw was amazing. Not much else to see--just a few monkeys that were to quick to identify. But the inverts continued to astound me. I've seen large foraging trains of ants, but never termites. Their soldiers had powerful jaws like ants too, instead of the usual noxious snout-spike. In this picture they are herding into a tunnel entrance. It looked like a clown trick--thousands of termites pouring into a tiny house.

This spider wins 3 awards--the biggest, scariest, and most beautiful I'd ever seen.

A peacock-colored lizard!

Our guide had a little surprise. He'd been collecting trash and plastic bottles and found a large scorpion inside. The bigger they are the less venomous, so this one must be puppy-like.

Butterflies were constant stage-stealers. Here are some beautiful ones that were innocently feeding on dung when they became roadkill.

I also met a wonderful Irish volunteer who took care of the bear sanctuary. The parks have bears, and also tigers, gaur, and all kinds of things, even a rhino until just a few months ago, but these were confiscated from Bile factories. They are very well taken care of. Here's a moonbear snacking on a banana popsicle. They have great muttonchops and look pretty harmless--more like sloths than bears. The sun bears look like small rottweilers with tremendous claws, and most of them were confiscated pets.

And what better way to end a trip than with dog meat? I knew it was inevitable that I'd try it, but I still haven't. This is organ meat, and I wouldn't eat the organs of any animal, thank you.

So, horrendous commute, extremely rugged hospitality. Would I do it again? Yes please. ASAP.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Mommy mommy, look at the AAAAAARGH!!!

They finally finished construction around the hippos at the Zoo. And I see a few design flaws. For one, I'd like to know why this flimsy metal fence is the only thing between me and a 2-3 ton animal with tusks the size of my arm. These are probably used to people, but in the wild these are the most dangerous mammals in the world. Really guys, what were you thinking?

I mean the pygmy hippo is cute enough, ok. Still probably not a good idea to give people the opportunity to pet him on the head.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Bottom of the Barrel

After 6 months, it's hard to find new things to sample. So in desperation, I picked up some water coconuts. In the country they are all over the place--large, banana-like palms growing right on the water, giving that jungley, nam-war-movie look to the place.

Jenny's mom was reluctant to buy, even at less than 50 cents a bag--that was a bad sign. Inside each husk is a table-spoon sized coconut-like meat. It is absolutely tasteless, so much so that it's like eating a black hole. Very unsatisfying.

So it was something of a relief to try Vietnamese avocados.
They are not so different than avocados everywhere (though much mushier), but they are served in a different way--in a glass with added honey-like condensed milk. Very yummy, good for a desert.


Saturday, August 14, 2010

A Curious Holiday


They set up this booth across the street and all over town.
What's it for?
"It's for a holiday."
What holiday?
"I don't know what you call it in English."
How do you celebrate?
"We eat lots of mooncake."
Ok, can we get some mooncake?
"No."

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Belated Singapore Blog

Ok, so I wanted to go to Singapore--not for any huge reason, just to go there. Maybe I was looking forward to using the phrase "It's like Singapore 2010 all over again!"
The most important thing to do in Singapore is to take a picture of the Merlion statue. Best to get it out of the way.
We accidentally showed up on independence day, though I hear they have fireworks every weekend. The extremely hideous and massive building is a resort/ mall with the world's largest indoor swimming pool perched on top.
Another thing to do in Singapore is wander around all the ethnic neighborhoods. But we didn't do it. We spent about 1o minutes in Little India, but there wasn't much to see except some nice temples, colorful architecture, and then rows of produce and jewelry stores. Not having the stomach for Indian food or room to hold our umbrella, we turned back.
One thing we did have the stomach for is Chili Crab, famous in Singapore. It wasn't too spicy, and the crabs are enormous--I'd hate to run into one in an alley. Definitely lived up to the hype.

Surprisingly, Frog Porridge also lived up to the hype. Yes, it tastes like chicken, but the consistency is more like a meaty fruit. It was in a yummy sauce and served over congee. One drawback was eating around the creepy frog bones and network of black veins.

The laws in Singapore are legion, but they are very specific. In this underground passageway were every kind of Do Not sign, including skateboarding, but they said nothing about breakdancing or freestyle cycling. Jenny swiped some kids bike and tooled around with it. Love this girl.

Ok, I mostly lied. I went to Singapore for the birds. It is quite complicated to get to the parks by trains and bus, so we simply took a cab all the way. If only all Jungles had such easy access.

This is it. The jungle is quite beautiful, with extremely diverse plant-life. The absolutely best thing were the Flying Lizards that gracefully and quite literally FLEW on red, semicircular "wings" onto a treetrunk. Once they land, they are tree-colored, skinny and completely basic, but I was lucky to see two winging it. There are also foot long monitors that crash through the brush like a 10 foot monitor when flushed--not a place for the weak of heart.

The next best thing was the monkeys. Not that they do anything particularly interesting, it is just neat that they are here.

The HSBC Skytop Walk, the main reason I chose my route, was closed on mondays. But the Jelutong Tower was pretty neat. It is a comfortable perch that pokes through the canopy.

It is a really neat place to be, especially all to myself. There is no better vantage point (on a Monday) to see all the birds in the canopy that you otherwise can't see. Except there were hardly any birds.

Except for a few, like these gorgeous Blue Throated Bee-Eaters, taken through my scope. I had only 30 species this whole trip. Apparently I came on the off season--there are no endemic species in Singapore and most of its birds are borrowed during the Migration seasons. But what I found was generally awesome.

The only other thing to do in Singapore is go Malling. It is totally unavoidable. You often have to go through a mall just to cross the street. In some places the only place to find food is in some mall's food court, though at least these are often ethnic foodie stops. My limit for malls is half an hour. We malled for 3 days. And emptied our wallets. Next time, Singapore via Malaysia.